Beginnings

I'm at a bit of a loss as to where I begin in a dynamic so complex as the one I've found myself.

Even though I've only began this journey I realize there are many layers to a D/s and S/M relationship.

I do know my friend is not only a sub but also a masochist. Somehow this makes me care more for him even though he seems to appreciate ruthlessness and perhaps even cruelty.

I say "perhaps" when in actuality I know he does prefer this. It's hard to be cruel to someone even though this is what he wants.

And he needs this.

And it goes against my nature. I want to esteem people and encourage.

Am I in the deepest waters? Or have I attracted the perfect person to trigger or manifest what lay underneath the surface of who I might be? That deep, dark unknown person at my center? My Shadow?